Being a mother to a speech delayed child.

The second you find out you are pregnant, your mind starts spinning.   Will it be a boy?  Or will it be a girl?  What colors should we paint the nursery?  What car seat should we buy?  Should we start saving up for college now?

When your child is born, your mind is blown.  That little bitty thing you carried in your womb for 9 months is now here.  Those little kicks you remember feeling from the inside are now gently kicking up and all around while they lay in your arms.  Those 10 little fingers are now wrapped around yours.  Your baby is here.

After they are born, you watch them grow up.  You get excited when they open their eyes for the first time.  You are over joyed when they crack that first smile.  You are amazed when they stare at you, knowing that you are their Mama.   As each month passes by they start to do new things.  They roll over.. they crawl, then eventually they walk.   All of which are just another amazing part of life.

Then you wait.   You wait for that first "Mama" or "Dada."  You may wait longer than your friends whose children are already saying that and more.  You gently hold them on your lap and repeat word after word.  You take them out into the world and show off things and name them.  "This is a tree."  "This is water."  "That is a kitty cat."  You wait for the day when they will repeat you and say it too.

You take your baby, now a toddler, to the pediatrician for a normal well baby check up.   The doctors ask you how many words he or she knows... and you sit there for a moment.   You sit there and think "Oh, well that one time it sounded like he said 'truck' but maybe he didn't."  You wonder if you should count those sounds that could be a word.   Eventually that moment is over and you tell them the very few words he can say.  

The doctor looks at you like there may be an issue.  She writes down a couple phone numbers for you to call.  One for a hearing test, and another for a speech evaluation.   You think "What?  My child couldn't have an issue.  He's my child.  He's perfect.  How could they even suggest such a thing?"    You wait a few months and look for any sign of improvement.  Unfortunately there is none.   So you take out that little slip of paper with those phone numbers and you start making calls.   You decide that maybe this is the help you  may need so you start speech therapy. 


It is hard sometimes.  It's hard to think that someone else thinks your child is imperfect when he is the light of your life.   It's hard when people don't understand the every day struggle, the frustrations, the hope we as mothers have every day.   It's hard explaining it to other people who are ignorant about the subject. 

But then they day comes... then weeks come.. the months come.  Suddenly your child is finally saying things he had never said before.  He is repeating.  He is asking.   You are amazed.

You see, even tho our children seem to need an extra push us as mothers get to experience something others do not.  We get to experience something amazing.  Joy.   We don't take those little things for granted.  Every time our children learn a new word, we get tears in our eyes because we know the struggle and we appreciate each and every one of those little words.   They are like Christmas presents to us.   Each one wrapped up in pretty paper with big shiny bows.  Each one just one step closer to our goal.   Each one leaving a mark on our hearts. 

The first time your baby looks up at you and says "Mommy" your heart will swell up with so much joy and love that you cry happy tears.   It's something I will never take for granted.