October. It happened in October. I didn't know it happened in October until November. There I was, one November morning staring blankly at what I, myself, had already known deep down. There were two lines. Two pink lines shouting those two words at me. It was like someone let off a fog horn in my head. "You're pregnant."
This wasn't supposed to happen this month. How did it happen? I was sick and on a handful of different medications for just about everything. I was even warned not to do what we did. This was not supposed to happen this month. What about the miscarriage from June? Was it too soon to get pregnant again? Will I lose this one too? What are we going to do?
The simple answer? Keep it a secret. At that point, I wasn't sure exactly how long I'd keep it a secret. 8 weeks? 10 weeks? 12 weeks? Or maybe 14 weeks when the risk of miscarriage drops tremendously? Then I thought, should I tell the family at Thanksgiving? Christmas? Birthdays? So many questions..and I was the only one who could ultimately decide. I decided once we knew the sex we would announce it. That seemed like a decent amount of time, right?
So far this pregnancy had been nothing but easy. Too easy. So easy that I fear that something is wrong because it's so easy. No morning sickness, very little horrible symptoms... If it wasn't for the random kicks and movements, I wouldn't believe I was pregnant.
The main thing that has been stressing me out is the fact that Quinton has gotten out of the Navy. Another thing I kept to myself. It's hard enough going from military to civilian life, but sometimes it feels harder with the insane amount of hormones surging through out my body as well.
So, as I turn the page on to a new chapter of our life, I am scared of what may come, but excited about the future as well. Things are definitely changing and hopefully it will be more good than bad. At least at the end of the day, I have an awesome husband, an amazing son, and a gorgeous little girl kicking away in my belly.
<3
Thursday, February 9, 2012
Wednesday, October 19, 2011
Being a mother to a speech delayed child.
The second you find out you are pregnant, your mind starts spinning. Will it be a boy? Or will it be a girl? What colors should we paint the nursery? What car seat should we buy? Should we start saving up for college now?
When your child is born, your mind is blown. That little bitty thing you carried in your womb for 9 months is now here. Those little kicks you remember feeling from the inside are now gently kicking up and all around while they lay in your arms. Those 10 little fingers are now wrapped around yours. Your baby is here.
After they are born, you watch them grow up. You get excited when they open their eyes for the first time. You are over joyed when they crack that first smile. You are amazed when they stare at you, knowing that you are their Mama. As each month passes by they start to do new things. They roll over.. they crawl, then eventually they walk. All of which are just another amazing part of life.
Then you wait. You wait for that first "Mama" or "Dada." You may wait longer than your friends whose children are already saying that and more. You gently hold them on your lap and repeat word after word. You take them out into the world and show off things and name them. "This is a tree." "This is water." "That is a kitty cat." You wait for the day when they will repeat you and say it too.
You take your baby, now a toddler, to the pediatrician for a normal well baby check up. The doctors ask you how many words he or she knows... and you sit there for a moment. You sit there and think "Oh, well that one time it sounded like he said 'truck' but maybe he didn't." You wonder if you should count those sounds that could be a word. Eventually that moment is over and you tell them the very few words he can say.
The doctor looks at you like there may be an issue. She writes down a couple phone numbers for you to call. One for a hearing test, and another for a speech evaluation. You think "What? My child couldn't have an issue. He's my child. He's perfect. How could they even suggest such a thing?" You wait a few months and look for any sign of improvement. Unfortunately there is none. So you take out that little slip of paper with those phone numbers and you start making calls. You decide that maybe this is the help you may need so you start speech therapy.
It is hard sometimes. It's hard to think that someone else thinks your child is imperfect when he is the light of your life. It's hard when people don't understand the every day struggle, the frustrations, the hope we as mothers have every day. It's hard explaining it to other people who are ignorant about the subject.
But then they day comes... then weeks come.. the months come. Suddenly your child is finally saying things he had never said before. He is repeating. He is asking. You are amazed.
You see, even tho our children seem to need an extra push us as mothers get to experience something others do not. We get to experience something amazing. Joy. We don't take those little things for granted. Every time our children learn a new word, we get tears in our eyes because we know the struggle and we appreciate each and every one of those little words. They are like Christmas presents to us. Each one wrapped up in pretty paper with big shiny bows. Each one just one step closer to our goal. Each one leaving a mark on our hearts.
The first time your baby looks up at you and says "Mommy" your heart will swell up with so much joy and love that you cry happy tears. It's something I will never take for granted.
When your child is born, your mind is blown. That little bitty thing you carried in your womb for 9 months is now here. Those little kicks you remember feeling from the inside are now gently kicking up and all around while they lay in your arms. Those 10 little fingers are now wrapped around yours. Your baby is here.
After they are born, you watch them grow up. You get excited when they open their eyes for the first time. You are over joyed when they crack that first smile. You are amazed when they stare at you, knowing that you are their Mama. As each month passes by they start to do new things. They roll over.. they crawl, then eventually they walk. All of which are just another amazing part of life.
Then you wait. You wait for that first "Mama" or "Dada." You may wait longer than your friends whose children are already saying that and more. You gently hold them on your lap and repeat word after word. You take them out into the world and show off things and name them. "This is a tree." "This is water." "That is a kitty cat." You wait for the day when they will repeat you and say it too.
You take your baby, now a toddler, to the pediatrician for a normal well baby check up. The doctors ask you how many words he or she knows... and you sit there for a moment. You sit there and think "Oh, well that one time it sounded like he said 'truck' but maybe he didn't." You wonder if you should count those sounds that could be a word. Eventually that moment is over and you tell them the very few words he can say.
The doctor looks at you like there may be an issue. She writes down a couple phone numbers for you to call. One for a hearing test, and another for a speech evaluation. You think "What? My child couldn't have an issue. He's my child. He's perfect. How could they even suggest such a thing?" You wait a few months and look for any sign of improvement. Unfortunately there is none. So you take out that little slip of paper with those phone numbers and you start making calls. You decide that maybe this is the help you may need so you start speech therapy.
It is hard sometimes. It's hard to think that someone else thinks your child is imperfect when he is the light of your life. It's hard when people don't understand the every day struggle, the frustrations, the hope we as mothers have every day. It's hard explaining it to other people who are ignorant about the subject.
But then they day comes... then weeks come.. the months come. Suddenly your child is finally saying things he had never said before. He is repeating. He is asking. You are amazed.
You see, even tho our children seem to need an extra push us as mothers get to experience something others do not. We get to experience something amazing. Joy. We don't take those little things for granted. Every time our children learn a new word, we get tears in our eyes because we know the struggle and we appreciate each and every one of those little words. They are like Christmas presents to us. Each one wrapped up in pretty paper with big shiny bows. Each one just one step closer to our goal. Each one leaving a mark on our hearts.
The first time your baby looks up at you and says "Mommy" your heart will swell up with so much joy and love that you cry happy tears. It's something I will never take for granted.
Tuesday, August 2, 2011
Speech Evaluation.
Today was My son's evaluation to determined if he is delayed with speech. Basically, three women came over. The Service coordinator, the speech therapist, and the educator. They were extremely nice and helpful. I felt completely at ease with them, despite my "people in my house" phobia.
They came in, took their shoes off, and sat on the floor. The educator had a large blue tote box with her that contained toys, paper work, and such. Quincy immediately went to them to say hi to the new visitors. He too, was very comfortable with them. They asked me a couple questions, and got to work. They pulled out a wooden block toy.. where a triangle, a circle, and a square block had to be put in place. Quincy showed them he could do it. They pulled out 10 small blocks, and Quincy stacked them all one by one. They put the blocks together, pushed it, and said "chooo choo." Quincy copied it to a T. They placed the blocks in a cup one by one.. and once again, Quincy copied it.
They moved on to books. They showed him pictures and asked things like "Which one is the ball?" "Which one is eating?" "Which girl is smiling?" Quincy pointed out each and every last one. They took out paper and a crayon. The educator drew a vertical line, a horizontal line, and a circle then asked Quincy to do the same. He did.
They did a few more things, and in the end determined Quincy was extremely advanced in his fine and gross motor skills. In fact, he is doing things at a 3 year old level. They were beyond impressed with him (and I'm not just saying that because I'm his Mom.) After doing all the tests, they determined that Quincy is right on the line to qualify for speech therapy. They explained, that since he is doing so great with his motor skills, that sometimes children keep exploring those particular skills, and do talk later. Basically, to qualify they are looking for a 25% speech delay. Quincy is at a 20% and the do believe it has a lot to do with the fact that he is mastering his fine and gross motor skills.
They do not believe he needs full on therapy, but I, myself, have opted for it. We decided that twice a month we will have a speech therapist come over, just because I want him to be more or less ahead of the curb. Why not take what ever extra help I can get for the time being? They gave me a lot of good tips to work with and I plan on using them. They were really impressed with Quincy. I don't mean to brag, but they did, so why not? lol. He did things they have never seen a child his age do. They were also impressed that he was social with them and came up and played with them with out hesitation.
All in all, he did amazingly. He showed off his skills (and cuteness) and they wanted to take him home with them haha. I am so proud of my baby boy. Even tho he does have a slight speech delay, he is excelling in everything else he does.
I am glad to know he is doing so amazing, I am also glad that we will be getting some extra help as well. Today was not as stressful as I thought it would be.
They came in, took their shoes off, and sat on the floor. The educator had a large blue tote box with her that contained toys, paper work, and such. Quincy immediately went to them to say hi to the new visitors. He too, was very comfortable with them. They asked me a couple questions, and got to work. They pulled out a wooden block toy.. where a triangle, a circle, and a square block had to be put in place. Quincy showed them he could do it. They pulled out 10 small blocks, and Quincy stacked them all one by one. They put the blocks together, pushed it, and said "chooo choo." Quincy copied it to a T. They placed the blocks in a cup one by one.. and once again, Quincy copied it.
They moved on to books. They showed him pictures and asked things like "Which one is the ball?" "Which one is eating?" "Which girl is smiling?" Quincy pointed out each and every last one. They took out paper and a crayon. The educator drew a vertical line, a horizontal line, and a circle then asked Quincy to do the same. He did.
They did a few more things, and in the end determined Quincy was extremely advanced in his fine and gross motor skills. In fact, he is doing things at a 3 year old level. They were beyond impressed with him (and I'm not just saying that because I'm his Mom.) After doing all the tests, they determined that Quincy is right on the line to qualify for speech therapy. They explained, that since he is doing so great with his motor skills, that sometimes children keep exploring those particular skills, and do talk later. Basically, to qualify they are looking for a 25% speech delay. Quincy is at a 20% and the do believe it has a lot to do with the fact that he is mastering his fine and gross motor skills.
They do not believe he needs full on therapy, but I, myself, have opted for it. We decided that twice a month we will have a speech therapist come over, just because I want him to be more or less ahead of the curb. Why not take what ever extra help I can get for the time being? They gave me a lot of good tips to work with and I plan on using them. They were really impressed with Quincy. I don't mean to brag, but they did, so why not? lol. He did things they have never seen a child his age do. They were also impressed that he was social with them and came up and played with them with out hesitation.
All in all, he did amazingly. He showed off his skills (and cuteness) and they wanted to take him home with them haha. I am so proud of my baby boy. Even tho he does have a slight speech delay, he is excelling in everything else he does.
I am glad to know he is doing so amazing, I am also glad that we will be getting some extra help as well. Today was not as stressful as I thought it would be.
Wednesday, June 8, 2011
Heartbreak...and a new plan.
For those that don't know.. I lost the baby over the weekend. Today I had an appointment with my OBGYN for a follow up and to discuss where to go from here. Well...here's the update.
He does not want me TTC for 2-3 months. He is sending me to an OBGYN who specializes in diabetic pregnancies first. He wants my sugars 100% stabilized. He wants me on insulin asap. He and the Diabetes specialist will be in close contact the whole time monitoring me and my glucose.
I will find out more next week when i go back for a second follow up.
He immediately put me in for another ultrasound today. I've passed everything, which is good, because I don't need a D&C. But yea, no TTC for 2-3 months. He wants my sugars under control and he wants my body to heal completely before we even start TTC. The good thing is, I will have two doctors monitoring me while TTC. I will be in the best of hands, especially since it took so long to conceive in the first place and if I need medical assistance I will have it.
While I don't feel good about the miscarriage, I DO feel good knowing I will be in great hands during my TTC journey, and my next pregnancy. Until then, at least I have my first little miracle to keep me entertained.
He does not want me TTC for 2-3 months. He is sending me to an OBGYN who specializes in diabetic pregnancies first. He wants my sugars 100% stabilized. He wants me on insulin asap. He and the Diabetes specialist will be in close contact the whole time monitoring me and my glucose.
I will find out more next week when i go back for a second follow up.
He immediately put me in for another ultrasound today. I've passed everything, which is good, because I don't need a D&C. But yea, no TTC for 2-3 months. He wants my sugars under control and he wants my body to heal completely before we even start TTC. The good thing is, I will have two doctors monitoring me while TTC. I will be in the best of hands, especially since it took so long to conceive in the first place and if I need medical assistance I will have it.
While I don't feel good about the miscarriage, I DO feel good knowing I will be in great hands during my TTC journey, and my next pregnancy. Until then, at least I have my first little miracle to keep me entertained.
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